...Just A Small Town Girl...

Today i turned 30 years old. It's kind of surreal. As a kid growing up i always looked at 30 as being officially "grown up" and no fun....well, i was pretty accurate then. LoL jk but really that is what i always thought. To actually have crossed over to 30 years old , i find myself in a pretty reflective spot. 30 years of life and what do i have to show for it?  Well first off, I will be materialistic for a minute. First, i have a family to call my own. I have a husband who i know loves me and goes over and beyond to support our family and love us daily. I have a step-son I couldn't love anymore. He has grown me in ways i never knew possible and it was my first love for him that made me so dearly want to watch David be a daddy again and become a mother myself. I have a baby boy who is growing way to fast for my heart to contain and who has shown me a whole different side of love and grace i never knew existed. I have not just a house...but home.  A home i prayed long ...

Will I too wonder 40 years in the "wilderness" or will the gates of the Promised Land be ever so nearer? Oh, Lord, even in the wondering help me remember you still promise to provide.  This question crashes amongst the unpredictable waves of my heart yearning for an answer, however leaning into the truth that most likely an answer I will only get along the journey itself. I will be honest...I fear the journey, or at least my flesh does. Not knowing how hard the road may be or what I will encounter along the way. I know that right now I am already worn and spent, and truthfully, I feel I've encountered but a morsel of might that lays in wait for me ahead.  Lean in with me here...I am first a child of God. I am bought by the blood of Jesus He sacrificially gave for me on the cross some years ago. I say this because at the end of every days journey, NO MATTER what the terrain of my wilderness looks like, I remind myself that because of that cross on Calvary hill, my journey ...