Here she goes rambling again...

 Today, per usual, my brain was just a rolling with thought after thought. Its often frustrating and difficult to slow down, however sometimes those thoughts i can't help but believe are whispers from the Holy Spirit. Moments I hope to remain open and slowed down enough to take in and digest. 

This morning i was in some feelings and thought, when the verse Romans 8:28 came to mind.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

This is a pretty popular scripture in the Word, however it is also a very commonly misinterpreted one as well. Let me preface, i am no Bible scholar. My education and knowledge has come from a long life of "hard-knocks" and through the pains and consequences of such, realizing leaning into Jesus is my only hope and peace. 

This morning i thought about my life. I thought about some harder seasons i have seen. I thought of things lost and things changed. I thought about what i yearned and dreamed of vs where i am actually at. And in those thoughts and emotions, i felt the Holy Spirit remind me of this verse and its sweet truth. 

You see, sometimes people like to say this verse is like your lucky magic 8 ball. If you love God, then your life will be good. Good things will come your way.... prosperity in abundance. But just merely reading the verse from the Bible, we see that is actually not even close to what it says. 

What it does say, that for those who love God, everything works together FOR GOOD. 

Think about it like this... Hypertrophy is a process that takes place in the body. When you workout or exercise. In order to grow and gain muscle and strength, your muscle tissues and fibers actually have to break down and sustain damage. Once that happens, the body begins to repair those fibers by fusing them back together which results in increase size and strength. Hence why, when you exert your body you are sore for a few days to follow. The reality is that something tearing and breaking or being damaged is not by definition GOOD. It's not delightful or joyous and pleasurable. However, what comes from the breakdown is GOOD. increases muscle and strength bigger and better than before. 

Sometimes we get disappointed because we want life to be good. We want to believe that because we love God this world will be an easier place to reside, however that is not the promise.  The promise we have is rather the fact that though we walk through the valleys and fall to the pains and cruelty of this world, we can live in hope that even the hardest seasons are working in ways that will be for GOOD. It may not be good in the moment, but the journey will be used for it and the outcome will reflect it. 

I think about being a solo parent and raising a young boy. I think about how hard these years have been and the pains and traumas we have walked through. i think about the tears shed and battles fought, and wounds attained. I think about the uncertainty of the future and the unknown. I wouldnt define that as good. Those things were hell on earth...however, let me tell you something about this season. What looks like a lost battle has actually produced an abundance of goodness. 

You see. my son has a brother, and i have a step son. And in a world that makes it really hard for families to blend, i have watched my step son's mother and entire family not just embrace my son but also me. When a man walked out, i watched God put together a picture that i could have never believed looking as beautiful as it does today. My boy gets to grow up with his brother, and better yet, his brother's brothers. My son got to learn how to ride a bike by his brothers uncle and step dad (now adopted dad). My son got to go dove hunting with his brother's and their dad. Not only that but my stepsons mom is family to us. When all of my family lives away, i have an emergency contact to list on my son's forms. I have an army of people that support us and love us. And the certainty that me and my boy are not alone and rather surrounded by love.

It has not always looked like this so please know, i am not sugar coating the journey. But what i am saying is that the amount of pain and unknowns that i feel daily, cannot come close to the amount of Goodness I've watched those pains cultivate in our lives. 

This world is hard...so hard. I was asked recently why i believe and place my faith in Jesus, and my response was different than what i would have said years ago. It's personal. I told them, i believe because in 34 years of life i can remember not one time has Jesus not turned out to be exactly what the Bible says he is and not one time has his promises i have read not been true to my life and story. I believe it because it truly lives in me and the goodness that has come from a very difficult journey is bold testament to that.

I am so thankful that in the midst of emotion and the enemies loud reminders of pain, the Holy Spirit's whisper silenced it all. My pains are working for good in so may ways and i pray that I never forget that sweet truth.