...???Are you AFRAID of the dark???...

My question I pose is a simple one...Are you afraid of the dark? Not exactly a question you would ask an adult (which is probably what the only 3 people who may actually read this will be) but i am serious...Are you afraid of the dark? When we are children growing up there is only one kind of darkness...and it is literal. It's room without light where you can't see what is around you. It's physically not having sight or clear sight of the place you are in. It's interesting because it typically only takes a tid-bit of time for that child to realize the dark isn't all that bad. Some require a nightlight or maybe an object of comfort and safety like Mr. Teddy who will destroy anything that comes around. But even with this for the most part, that child grows out of that fear. They begin to trust even though they can not see.

I don't remember ever really remember being afraid of the dark as a child but let me tell you...I am terrified of it now. Because you see, with age comes awareness and with awareness comes depth. You learn craft of metaphorical speech and realize that "dark" is no longer just a room or place void of light, but it becomes the battle of the soul. An inward struggle through various seasons that sometimes seem to have no way out. It's like your wondering around in a room searching for a switch or even better, a door knob, only to wallow in your frustration of failure. You may even begin to think that the " room " your wallowing in has been sealed shut...that there is NO way out. Let me tell you something...there is ALWAYS a way out. Those dark moments and seasons in our lives are inevitable...you're going to be there at some point. And probably more than once. Those seasons look very different for everyone...This is the point where i can only begin to speak personally for myself...

And let me tell you, dark seasons are not for the faint of fight. Don't get me wrong...when i think about my life and i think about the struggle of others i COUNT my blessings because i am indeed so very blessed, but all of us know that a struggle is a struggle and we only know what we are faced with personally. We truly can not understand the depth of another's, as all dark rooms are different and all the ways out are unique.

In my 27 years of life i have experienced various dark rooms and you'd think id get it by now. You think i would understand and trust the strength and plan of my Lord. You would think that like a child who falls asleep in that room that's dark and scary, yet begins to rest easy because they trust and know the sun will rise and the light is still there, i too would remember all of the dark moments that the living Son Himself has come down and lit my world up greater than i could have ever fathomed. But I don't. I have to be knocked around a bit to remember those marvelous miracles.

 Those dark places and struggles suck but when we begin to grasp the strengthening that takes place during that time we can see it all a bit differently. When we can bring our brokenness , anger, hurt , embarrassment, and failures freely to the feet of Jesus  because that is all we know is there, we can begin to let the fear of the dark go. We can see the dark places for what they are. A time to rest in the hiding of the Savior in which we can become strengthened without the enemy watching so that when the lights do come on...we are stronger and greater only because of our God.  The earth grew dark when Jesus died but during that time great victories were had and grace was distributed and once those lights came on and the sun rose...the SON ROSE!

I know this is a lot...its just what is on my heart and mind today...It's funny because i had every intention for this being a fitness blog but my fingers and brain said NOT Today Bethany Not Today...

On a side note... i DID go to the gym today and for me that is one of my biggest battle grounds for fighting my fear of the dark...What God can do with restoring us physically is an amazing thing. A little sweat and pain tends to bring me a couple of steps closer to that way out.





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