One of my favorite blessings...

I guess the freedom of speech is the only thing that gives me the right to speak on this subject because i have made some pretty epic bad grades over the years in this one. BUT...my years are not over yet and I believe that when my 8 year old self asked Jesus to come into my heart and change me and take over, that He did just that not because of anything He knew i would do or had done, but DESPITE everything He knew i would do and had done. I've searched, heck WE are a people group of searching for the meaning of LOVE and what it is and it's been right in front of me the whole time. Love is selfless. It is JESUS hands down. I preface with this because we talk all mushy with our relationships and all and heck love is thrown here there and everywhere these days in our culture, but i want to make it clear that I do know love. And it's that love that has motivated the changes in my heart over the past couple of years as well as kept me alive and pressing on.

Now...on to what i really want to write briefly about. My David...He was gone to training for military over Valentines Day and i caught the Flu that week and have been recovering. He came home the day after and the plan was that hopefully by Saturday (aka today) or Sunday i would be up and running and ready to have some date time with him since he'd been gone for 3 weeks. Saturday had different plans. I strained and irritated some muscles this past week along my rib cage area with the flu but today i let out a sneeze and it was all down hill from there. From the bathroom David hears me screaming crying and all i can fester out of my mouth is " it hurts so bad it hurts so bad it hurts so bad"... David immediately swung into care mode and was there patient and kind and caring. Trying his best to calm me down and but help the problem too.

I know people get tired of reading sappy posts and seeing the happily ever afters...i myself do. I also feel bad when i want to express happiness or excitement and think how it will annoy people. All that to say this post is totally honest. I am not trying to sugar coat or cover up anything. I am 27 and divorced so clearly I've done some things wrong and out of timing. I can honestly say though that God has blessed me abundantly with David. We both became friends at the hardest times in both our lives and it was a battle. It was not always a pretty one and there were moments where we both were pulling so hard at each other it just was not good. But my prayer was ALWAYS for him and for US. I knew i loved him not because but despite. I saw a strong man who had walked through the pits of hell and had a heart of gold. I saw a man fighting to be a better everything. I also saw myself stop and take a strong hard look at MY issues and control. At my insecurities and lack of love for myself that poured out into us.



So NOOOO it's not all rainbows and butterflies...BUT every time i look at David i find myself whispering in my heart "thank you Jesus for giving me Him"...one more day good or bad i just want one more day with him. David nor myself are perfect but God has done some pretty awesome things in our hearts and i believe is just getting started...now for my sappy post.

When i look at David i melt...i truly think he is the most handsome man i have ever laid my eyes on. I love his heart. I love his love for his son. i love his son. i love his love for his family . i love his love for me. i love his strength. And even his stubbornness at times. I love that i can tell him anything. I love that he meets my needs even though they can be annoying. I love that when I am stressed or sick or hurting his first response is " What can i do to help you right now or fix this"...I love how he is the hardest worker i know. Pretty much i love the fact that not because of anything i have ever done but DESPITE all that i have done, God has blessed me with someone who holds my heart and fights through the storms and brings me in at the end of the day protecting me and loving me and making sure i am safe.

So i guess since this week didn't go as planned and our date day didn't either...i will post this and probably have to read it to him myself in the morning because my lengthinesswill make his eyes cross...lol

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