Dear Momma....I see you

 Dear Mom,

First let me apologize for not telling you this sooner or even more often. It's not intentional, i just get caught up in the chaos of life that I forget you can not hear my thoughts. I think these things often, and even find my mind deceiving myself that i have actually told you. I no longer want to reside in that deception so that is why I am here now. I wanted you to know that I see. I see you. I see what all you are doing. I see all the things you don't see. I've noticed that your eyes seem to only see what's left "undone". The things you feel you didn't accomplish or get to. Those things don't exist to me. In fact I see you doing and accomplishing so much that I don't see it possible for your days to hold anymore than they already do. I watch you pour your heart and soul out for the kids. I watch you walk through the good and bad moments and i wished i knew how you did it. I know you have to be exhausted. I know you have to be overwhelmed. I see that you don't stop and even when you do it seems your mind is still going, still working. 

Have i told you how well you love. You love those babies so deeply. They  see your consistency and commitment to not give up and not give in. I know there are tough moments. Moments when they are doing everything BUT what they are supposed to do. Moments when they are lashing out and making you question all your efforts. But MOM let me tell you something...that is just the proof that they crave your love and attention even more. It is so needed and appreciated by them that they will go out of their way to have more. And I don't know where you keep it, but you always seem to be able to pour out more. I know your cup is empty but somehow it is miraculously never dry. I see you...

If caring for them isn't enough, you work effortlessly to provide for the home and family. You give hours of your day to help provide. You exhaust yourself on the outside and still manage to come home and continue full speed ahead. Clean clothes, new clothes, dishes washed, groceries bought, meals provided (it's okay that they are not always home cooked) , animals tended too...i could go on and on. You amaze me with how well you balance everything you have to do. You see chaos and incompletion...i see order and "over and beyond". I see you...

And then there is their heart's and soul's. The parts that a lot of people forget. But you...you do not. You don't give yourself near enough credit. See,  you remember the moments you lost your cool and got loud or impatient...that is what you dwell on and count all as failure. But you see, they have long forgotten those moments...they remember prayers your prayed with them over their meals and before bedtime. They remember how you told them Jesus lives in their heart and loves them. They remember the lessons they learned at church because you committed to taking them. They remember the hugs you gave them and the kisses. They remember the songs you sang with them. They also remember in your most "giving up" moments, how you talked to Jesus in front of them. You see you thought they didn't notice because they were screaming so loud and you were crying so hard, BUT they heard you. They See you...

Momma, you are not human. You are a creation that is empowered beyond understanding. You carry so much grace and strength. You persevere through the worst of wars. You are self less and sacrificial. You are constant and caring. You are beyond necessary and needed. You are chosen more than anything else and you are blessed with the highest honor of loving and leading those babies that call you Momma. 

I know it's hard a lot of days...lonely some days...exhausting constantly...but thank you. Thank you for what you do daily. Thank you for what you give up. Thank you for never giving up. I SEE you. But more importantly...THEY see you momma!