Hurt people Hurt people...but...

Hurt people hurt people…I don’t remember the first time I heard this phrase, but it was some years ago, and when I heard it, I did not forget it. It has played on repeat in my life over the years. Sometimes I wish I had never heard it because of the truth it brings to situations. Sometimes I don’t want to understand that the person that’s causing pain in my life has pains of there on. I see a world full of people hurting people and I have come to a sense of understanding that learned behavior is a real thing. Protective behavior is a real thing. Insecurities and lack of trust is a real thing. Unforgiveness is a real thing and all these things can trigger us all to do things to others that we may later wish we had not done or said. For some reason, recently this thought took me to a story in the Bible of Peter, Jesus’ bold and devoted disciple. 

 We find an account of Peter in all four gospels denying Jesus. His faithful Lord and Leader. You can reference those below:

 Matthew 26:69-75…69 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said. 70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. 71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.” 72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!” 73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.” 74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. 

Mark 14:66-72…66 While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by. 67 When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him. “You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus,” she said. 68 But he denied it. “I don’t know or understand what you’re talking about,” he said, and went out into the entryway. 69 When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around, “This fellow is one of them.” 70 Again he denied it. After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, “Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.” 71 He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re talking about.” 72 Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twiceyou will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept. 

Luke 22:55-62…55 And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. 56 A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.” 57 But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said. 58 A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” “Man, I am not!” Peter replied. 59 About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.” 60 Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. 61 The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” 62 And he went outside and wept bitterly. 

 John 18: 25:17,25-27…17 “You aren’t one of this man’s disciples too, are you?” she asked Peter. He replied, “I am not.”… 25 Meanwhile, Simon Peter was still standing there warming himself. So they asked him, “You aren’t one of his disciples too, are you?” He denied it, saying, “I am not.” 26 One of the high priest’s servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, challenged him, “Didn’t I see you with him in the garden?” 27 Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow. 

 I wondered why my mind went to this story when I thought on the phrase “hurt people hurt people”. I had never heard the two correlated together. I will say this is my mind working. I do believe the Holy Spirit was apart of my thinking but what I am about to say is not in the Bible. It is me putting myself in Peter’s shoes. It is me trying to understand that moment from another sinful humans’ perspective. I can’t help but imagine Peter in the moment being overcome by anger and confusion. Peter had been completely devoted to Jesus for the last 3 years of his life. He had witnessed personally the miracles of Jesus even within his own family. (healing of his mother in law Matt.8:14-15) Peter was given the commission from Jesus himself that he would be a rock that the church would be built upon. He watched Jesus bring a dead girl back to life, he was allowed the ability to walk on water, and this just scratches the surface of what Peter witnessed and experienced in those years of devotion and friendship with Jesus. So, going back to that evening when he denied Jesus not once, but 3 times, I can’t help but wonder the emotions he was experiencing. We see in the scripture that Peter at a distance followed behind the seizing of Jesus to where they took him. It seems as almost he couldn’t believe and process what was happening. Or maybe even he was waiting to lay witness to another miracle where Jesus breaks free, because there is no way that the King of Kings who has the power to raise the dead and heal the lame is going to allow people to just take him away and kill him.

 I can not help but think that maybe Peter’s denial stemmed from a place of pain and hurt. That he hurt because he was hurting. Peter was faithful and he was committed and very much devoted to Jesus. He adored Jesus and we see that through out scripture, but we also see on various occasions that Peter was immature in his faith. It took a little more for him to understand things on the level Jesus was teaching. And I wonder if this was one of those occasions. I wonder if Peter tagged along at a safe distance because he wanted to witness that great uprising Jesus was sure to bring. I wonder if he just “knew” that Jesus was about to bring a physical victory and perform a physical miracle and just walk away from the horrors and pain that lay ahead of him. I mean he was Jesus. He could do anything. It was Jesus, that at the point of his seizure when Peter (John 18:26) drew his sword and cut off the ear of the soldier, placed the ear back on the man healing him and responding, “ 52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. 53 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? 54 But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?” (Matt.26-52-54)

I cannot help but wonder if Peter was standing back confused, hurt, and angry wondering why his dearest friend and Savior who had just said he could say the word and an army of angels would make all this go away, wasn’t actually doing that. Was he willingly going to physically abandon his disciples, his family, his ministry? Where was the victory in that? Where was the fulfillment in that? I can’t help but wonder if in Peter’s flesh and mind he thought, “how dare I fight for you and in return what? You heal the enemy and walk away with them. You accept defeat? How dare I fight for you and you not for me!”…. Hurt people hurt people and I can not imagine the pain Jesus felt as he was fully human, in watching his dear companion walk away in that moment. The pain of abandonment and dissociation. But also the pain of knowing that it would take even more pain for Peter to finally get it and understand. You see, in that story prior to all that which took place, Jesus told Peter he would deny him. He told Peter his flesh would fail him and he would turn his own back on Jesus in a moment. And through that denial and pain and hurt we finally see it click for Peter. The Bible says Peter breaks down and weeps when he realizes what he had done.

 I know that’s a lot and maybe meaningless to you, but to me it was impacting and revealing. It was a picture of emotion and pain. A picture of desolation and confusion. I think, to watch my best friend willingly lay down his life (understanding that though Jesus had prophesied the resurrection as well as the former old testament scriptures) not understanding how death could possibly bring about victory in that moment and also realizing that everything about my life would change…well I think I may emotionally react also. I might walk away frustrated and unsure.

 I come to the end of this story with a tag-on to that phrase I have come to believe whole heartedly. Yes, hurt people do hurt people but also, thanks to the cross…thanks to the grave…thanks to better yet the EMPTY grave…hurt people have the ability to FORGIVE people. How powerful is that. That though im sure it broke Jesus’s heart when Peter denied him not once but three times, Jesus did not withdraw his praise and role given to Peter to become the one that He would build His church upon. You see Jesus gives us an example of how hurt people have the same power to change the trajectory of actions to others. As a human you would think that a demotion was only appropriate after “ole faithful” Peter could just so easily turn his back on what he was living his life for, but as a grace giving Savior, he saw a hurt human. He saw a broken man that couldn’t understand yet. A man who’s flesh sometimes seemed to be the louder voice. A man who had not earned his position but through faith and grace was given it, not because of anything but despite everything. 

 So yea…hurt people hurt people…. but lets choose to be the person on the other end of that that turns that phrase upside down and remember... HURT PEOPLE ALSO HAVE THE POWER TO FORGIVE PEOPLE...